ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
There are two things I love in this world. Dick and cats. Why can't I just have dick and cats forever
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I basically have sex lined up for me in three different countries. If that's not a feat I don't know what is
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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