Just because it's been in my vagina doesn't mean it's important to me
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
As a 47 yo who just boned a 22 yo, it was definitely a walk of pride. She is a major feather in my aging cap.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
You know you turned your life around when your drunk eating salad at 3 am on a Friday night
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
