Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
she kind of stumbled up and said "Bitches be needin' stiches." i thought i could convince her to break a bottle over someones head but she fell onto her face and passed out before i could say anything
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
