Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
stumbled upon a picture of an owl staring me in the face. i almost offered him a bong hit.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
He showed up to a baby shower and kept telling everyone he was late because he was pregaming. And then tried honking the pregnant girls tits
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
THIS IS AN AMERICAN HORROR STORY I CAN'T FIND MY VIBRATOR ANYWHERE WHICH MEANS I LOST IT WHEN I MOVED WHICH MEANS MY POOR VIBRATOR IS OUT THERE IN THE WORLD ALL ALONE RIGHT NOW WHAT AM I GOING TO DO
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
All I remember is being lured out to sit by the fire by you holding a piece of pizza in front of me
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
Randomize
