I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Maybe the downfall to liking really smart guys is that they're to smart to think about sex all the time.
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I woke up next to her boyfriend and she woke up next to mine....
This is like a fucked up game of musical chairs.
He tells me he loves me and I say I just want him for sex, then he looks at me like I just said I hate puppies. What kind of guy is he?
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
Randomize
