did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
How long is a courtesy make out supposed to last??
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I want to hump her dimples until her face caves in.
So many issues. You honestly need help.
thing about being the result of a teen pregnancy is that all my baby pictures are of my mom and dad holding me around their stoned college friends.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Randomize
