You up for the gym tonight after work?
I'm up for a light workout and a nice yog.
Fair enough, I'm gonna hit it hard today.
Chris Brown style, or less felonious?
Haha, all felonious.
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
he couldn't get a boner so he asked me to sing you shook me all night long to his penis. I think it was weirder that it actually worked
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
He lured me round with the prospect of sex and then made me proofread his CV and spoon. I fucking hate this guy.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
