i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
I woke up this morning under my fitted sheet and my legs through the sleeves of my sweater.
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
My mom just admitted you were a good looking kid & if you weren't my friend & 30 years older she would do you. I'm going to commit suicide.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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