Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
Well, I'm a guy so I don't have one, but if its anything like the inside of my nose, yes, vodka would burn.
I'm at an open mic night and the next act is called 'the best creed cover band ever.' The guy i recently hooked up with is on bass.
We need to rekindle our bromance
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
