dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
So, we're going at it on the sink when a German kid walks in and starts brushing his teeth. I love hostel sex.
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you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
whoever put homecoming and halloween on the same weekend owes me a new liver and a get out of jail free card.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
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I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
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