apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I recorded his drunk dial calls. My personal favorite was the one that began, "grab the bull by the horns and fuck his cock."
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I woke up and found piles of popcorn in a trail around my house, ending at a laundry basket full of pillows. What were we trying to catch last night?
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
the fact that you beer bonged rum made me so proud, the fact that you threw up an entire footlong tuna melt after... not so much babe
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