his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I feel like after that many guys, all of the water in your body is just replaced with pure jizz, honestly.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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