halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
