my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
Are you going to eat tacos off the floor again?
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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