nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
i woke up next to a ladle and a packet of chocolate biscuits that my face had melted into one giant biscuit.
You were like pukeahontas last night, you tried to tell us you were okay, then you puked in the garden.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
Just for the record, I did not have sex in your bed. Happy 4th of July.
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