and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
I woke up at 5:47 in the morning to you peeing on my parents bedroom floor. I think we've established that you have a limit .
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I found someone's tooth on the stairs when I was vacuuming, and my sister found a catheter in the men's bathroom... this cleaning job is dangerous
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
Randomize
