And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
I just wanted to say sorry for trying to jack off your dog last night.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Also you were throwing your phone yelling this is durable as shit
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
i turned my shower on this morning and passionfruit pulp came out. how did you even do that?
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
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