just come out here and I will go home with you...
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
HE ASKED IF I HAD SIBLINGS WHEN I ASKED HIM TO LICK MY ASSHOLE
Remember last NYE when after the 9th shot of tequila you went on full crazy mode and made out with the 50 y/o doorkeeper? and he called you the next day?
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
Randomize
