let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
I never kept track of who else he slept with. You think I have the time or the energy to keep track of every dick in my life?
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
