He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I wish you could order shots online.
no you're not listening to me HE WANTED TO BRAID MY HAIR
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
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