He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
regular news: took many shots of tequila.....bad news: woke up with a toothbrush and vagisil next to me.....good news: clean as a whistle
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
