gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
and you said cock pushups were impossible
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
a bus full of elementary school kids may or may not have seen me pissing off my front porch this morning
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You do realize how pathetic it is when the woman who does your bikini waxes has seen your vagina more than I have
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Just puked in front of a high school tour group. Based on the standing ovation, we have a solid group of freshman coming in this fall.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
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