You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
21 Dirty Secrets From Bachelor/Bachelorette Parties That Have Destroyed Marriages
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
So I just tried to wake him up with a blow job and he literally touched the top of my head and said snooze button
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
He's a little cute, in a dorky, I-know-for-a-fact-his-cock-is-huge kind of way
23 Fathers Confess The Best Way They’ve Messed With Their Daughter’s Boyfriend
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
There are both cum and chocolate stains on my sheets. Can't decide whether this is a new low or a new high.
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...