Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
Apparently I walked to Denny's in the pouring rain without shoes just socks last night. Excellent.
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.