i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
Randomize
