One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
I've blown a few things in my day
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
we're so committed to being not committed
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
