My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
No, you dont understand, he literately fucked me into a new hairstyle, quite nice too.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
If you can't find your cat in the morning it's cause i put him in the laundry basket and then put the laundry basket in the shower.
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
So far I consider it a great summer because I have had to buy Plan B a total of zero times
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
You've been inside me, dude. There's no such thing as TMI.
Randomize
