Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I'll tell you what, we couldn't have asked for better binge-drinking weather.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
I just want to lay in a bed of egg mcmuffins and cry
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
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