Sorry, I have to go home and feed my nepotisms
Sorry, I can't talk, there's a herd of nepotisms headed my way
Did you read the article making fun of the right wing extremists? How they organized this 'tea party', and to propagate it they would mail teabags to their senators? And it became a verb...they had posters saying 'teabag obama!' yeah...
A message to Mrs Obama perhaps?
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
Pussy, Peanut Butter Cookies,and Bubble Wrap
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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