I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
My goal tonight is to get arrested because what cop can say they have ever arrested a giant sperm before. God I love halloween
Life's too short to be sucking dicks in cars for the rest of my life.
I know now that the cab driver can get me a 10 dollar blow job. I'm practically a local.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Randomize
