I just let someone steal something bc they were so fucking weird and wouldn't leave me alone
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
Just hit a cone using a lit sparkler. Tastes like I might die but it was magical.
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
She kept sniffing my sweater and tried to guess what type of detergent I use.
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Randomize
