I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I really wish i had a penis so i could dick slap that bitch right now
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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