Just mADE A PArabola og urine
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
the coke olympics were a bad idea. there's a tree uprooted in the front of my building.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
Randomize
