If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My parents woke me up at noon to tell me my maid had found my clothes strewn all over the neighborhood
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Idk why more people don't drink at work ... i mean, yeah, the cash might be off tonight, but my customer service is fucking phenomenal right now
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