Ppl just aren't as funny as we are
he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize