On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
I feel like shaving is just admitting i'm gonna do him, even though im still on the fence
shave. it'll take 10 min. Better safe than hairy.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
woke up with 4 bruises, 2 hickies and a bad case of rug burn. texans are dangerous.
Randomize
