I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
I just passed a kid trying to leave on a lawn mower
They've already turned me into the Dean of Students once because they felt 'unsafe' because I came home hammered and asked one of them to make me a grilled cheese sandwich. Like, I just ASKED!
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
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