she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
At least they play good movies in the waiting room of the pregnancy resource center.
No fair. I need a fuck buddy to entertain me till the power comes back on
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
