Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
Do you how many people I've successfully loaded into a Mazda Miata? Six. Six people. How? Strategically.
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
