I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just witnessed someone getting head in the parking garage. Don't ever tell me Baylor is too conservative again.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I told him that his face would look perfect between my legs. One of my most successful strategies yet.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
Hey mom, soo do we have a family lawyer or am I on my own for that?
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
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