i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
I woke up with gum stuck to my nipple piercings this morning.. So there's that.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Randomize
