Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
I don't really know how to say this, but I have an oven mitt to return to you tomorrow..
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
So now I have had sex with 2 people my son graduated high school with.
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
Randomize
