then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
My mom sucked on that joint like a nipple and she was a fucking newborn
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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