there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
I see more hoeing in ur future
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
