We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
Randomize
