I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
Would it be playing god to put spaghetti on my pizza?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Well. Another one of my exes came out of the closet.
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
