she was talking to me but i could help but stare at the extremely long hairs on her boobs. then she says, "your looking at the hair on my boobs aren't you"
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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