i'm signing you up for texting rehab
well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they're like a gay fantastic four
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Just had an orgasim to the Star Spangled Banner so.. it was all worth it.
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