There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
You graduated two years ago... You can't keep using spring break as an excuse.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
Want to come over? I'm getting stoned and watching Netflix and making s'mores over a candle in my room
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
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