No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
That's the international "my vagina is unoccupied, come talk to us" chant. You have your mission. Go.
I have no idea, but there's a bus parked in front of my house and like 6 texts saying im gonna prove my love. this is either really really awesome or really really bad.
I fucking hate you. Some slutty looking drunk chick backed her ass up across the bar and started grinding on you. You ignored her because you didn't want to share you drink
I care about my drink far more than her feelings
You called me a pussy and continued to eat an entire jar of peanut butter with only your hand.
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
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