Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Don't even start with me. You know damn well if you walked into a bathroom with two girls naked in the shower you would stay too. Regardless how drunk I was or whether or not you were my ride.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Things my liver can't take in one weekend. Surprise nights off at work and male strippers. Woke up jaundiced.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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