I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
Little spoons don't ask big questions
the whole city is out of plan b pills. this is the meanest game of musical chairs ever.
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
No, I didn't meet up with him! That's when I had chlamydia.
Randomize
