I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize