she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
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