He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
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