And I just remember seeing him for the first time and being like, who is this ape of a man? Like legit he could be the missing link
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
The hospital said it would be 'irresponsible' for them to allow people to book stomach pumps.
So how many shot glasses of coffee grounds make a pot?
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
Because you failed to stop the wedding, now I have to be a homewrecker. My eternal damnation is on your head I hope you're proud.
I did all i could do but i woke up smelling like cigars and theres salsa all over my face
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
