That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
I feel like you're the reason public nudity is illegal and generally frowned upon in society
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
Randomize
