I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
he wont speak to me right now because i told him it must suck knowing he'll never be as good as edward cullen..idiot.
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
