all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
I just want to make out with him forever
How my distance relationship is going: he's trying to sext me & I'm stuffing pizza in my face.
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Randomize
