12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
your goal of the night was to unlock your iPhone with your nipple. You're going places.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
I'm worried my skin won't stretch enough to handle this boner. Then what?
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
