Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
She slapped me in the face with a McDouble. Just threw it right at my face while I was driving... That is why we can't bring her out in public.
That hot guy i showed you guessed my exact bra size. I want to have his tan babies.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
I have 35 pounds of pennies. Need any?
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
