whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
Almost screamed "GO FISH MOTHER FUCKER" at the girl I nanny today. Drunken card games shouldn't bleed into my sober life.
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
Randomize
