How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
Currently sitting in the movie theatre bathroom while she gives him a blowjob in the parking lot. Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
My Canadian brought me three bottles of maple syrup, a sunflower, and a pair of Oakleys back to the states...he's either drunk or he loves me
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
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