Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Now after not puking, next step is not to do the accent when immigration says "hello."
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