there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
How was your 8:30 class today?
Non existent. I just threw up in my water bottle on the bus.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
If if makes you feel any better, you're definitely the hottest guy I've ever friendzoned.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
I've decided I will have no shame for the things I don't remember doing.
Randomize
